Yesterday evening was mildly appalling. In a very girly way. Sometimes I just hate being a girl - it's just so embarrassing.
The evening started out promisingly enough, sitting outside in the pub garden with a large glass of a fairly decent rosé. I grovelled and apologised with sincerity - I had, after all, treated our relationship with a casualness bordering on the unkind.
Then things went to hell in a handbasket.
But it turns out that we didn't have a relationship, we have a Relationship. Seems my dilatoryness in answering emails and making us miss lovely concerts is symptomatic of something deeper. What exactly did I want from our Relationship? A Relationship based solely on small talk was all very well, but shouldn't we be aiming for a deeper level? It seems I am emotionally closed off, evading any discussion of Issues, that I am constantly holding her at emotional arm's length. I Don't Let Her In.
FUCK A DUCK.
She's a GROWN WOMAN! She has a husband and children! How does she still get to come over like a 19 year old? All I want is the chat, some music, the occasional lunch! I am staggered that any bloke puts up with this. Is the sex worth this level of crap?
It was exactly this sort of thing that kyboshed me and my last (and only) girlfriend. Sometimes I really, really hate being a girl.
P.S. We left it that everything was patched up, that we were still OK, and that we would meet for another drink soon, BECAUSE THIS ONE HAD BEEN SO MUCH FUN. I can't wait.
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9 comments:
Oh dear. Bad luck. Not on the being-a-girl front. I suppose we all have to put up with our quota of difficult friends as we plod through life. And there's nothing to do but grin and bear it. (Unless you want to take more drastic measures.) (But won't you then run into her in the Village Stores and it'll all end up being even more cringingly embarrassing?) (Perhaps you should put big, anonymous London on your list of potential places to live. People are constantly going on holiday to Singapore. You'll only bump into her having a Singapore Sling in Raffles.)
I hope you have this mad person tippexed out of your address book already.
Life is tooo short for this crap, as I have discovered to my cost.
Move on.
Under no circumstances should you see her again, and I certainly wouldn't waste another precious evening out with her.
Shame on her for piling all that crap on you!
I was shaking my head thru your post. . .
is astonishment, amusement, amazement, familiarity (has happened to me, and as sylvia said, I moved on, with few regrets)
life is too short, ain't it? I think men can put up with "this" because they are actually a lot simpler than we imagine - and some of this won't even occur to them even tho it goes on right under their noses(specially if they are getting sex out of it!)
NIGHTMARE!!
big hugs, in a non-girly kinda way. . . as one human to another
*
OOH! have just noticed your THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE list - cool!
that's what life is about, not people too up their own backsides to be enjoying the views of what is in front of them - how are plans for your trip coming on?!
:-)
word ver: yabba-dabba-do (honestly!)
tra la la! that sounds tooth grindingly awful. i suspect that, like me, you are a girlie from mars, slightly puzzled by the ways of venusians. i hate that kind of thing but occasionally get dragged into it by someone i work with - so i can't even tell her to eff orf, and must sit nodding understandingly when i really feel like yelling, 'actually - get over yourself!'.
tra la la (gnash gnash)
x
Trouble is, I think she thinks I'm tortured, and really should tell her all about it. Maybe I could make some stuff up.
BiB - ooh, I love London. Patroclus needed a flat-sitter for a coupla weeks, and I was that tempted.
Sylvia, that she is revealing herself as an emotional vulture is coming as a hideous shock - I've really enjoyed the time I've spent with her over the last couple of years.
I,LTV, has anyone told you you hug really well?
RG - the Martian National Anthem. On the count of three . . .
Oh f**k a duck!
Argh, I have been through this more times than I can count, so send much empathy. I find it frankly kind of creepy, but at the same time I try to maintain some kind of relationship with the person because ... oh I don't know. These days I think my friends need to accept my stretched-too-thin qualities or just bug out. What is it about "I love you" that leads, inevitably, to "...therefore you OWE me something"? And that something is usually a piece of your soul?
Okay, I think you hit on a personal sore spot here. But.. yeah. Argh.
I have to confess, I'm normally the one who doesn't get calls returned, etc., but I just put it down to the fact that other people actually have a life and contacting me is very low on their list of priorities!
It's actually rather liberating when people don't return your calls. I've been stuck in long relationships with people I actually wasn't very friendly with at school - I was not up t their high standards - but who decided I was worth knowing after we left.
Yes, I'll admit it, it was me who kept the social events going, but frankly I've had enough.
If I'm not worth keeping up with, at least I can devote my energies to people who DO want to know me.
And when they do call me, it's only out of guilt, so I really don't want to hear from them at all.
Guilt is such a waste of time!
:-)
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