How on earth do you write a letter of condolence when you are pretty sure that the bereaved person is actually giddy with glee?
My cousin in South Africa had a marriage which had been going sour for a long time. She's 49, has two children in their early twenties, and a husband who was a model of unreconstructed afrikaner boer. Not interested in his growing children, he required a tidy house, a beer, a relax and hot food at the end of his working day, and sex every other day, regardless of how she felt. And as many affairs as he felt like. (Any male readers out there? NO. THIS IS NOT A CIVILIZED ATTITUDE.) She has been trying to get out for the last five years or so, but he has been - well, unhelpful. For the last couple of years she has been living in friends' houses, sleeping on sofas.
He died two days ago. His son found him in the morning, still in his tracksuit from the previous night's jog. He was 53. (And his name was Frikkie. South Africans have an outlandish idea of what is acceptable in a name for a male.)
Knowing that her e-mail address is a work one and not secure, and even though I bet she is probably doing cartwheels of joy, I had to go with the 'I'm so very sorry' schtick, when what she wants is an airline attendant called Sebastian in extremely tight leather trousers singing 'Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead!'
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5 comments:
Just say "I know how you must be feeling right now."
I leave it up to you whether to append a discreet emoticon ;-P
I was going to say something like what Tim said, but he said it much better.
i'm with tim - just say you're thinking about her and don't say anything about him. he sounds vile! (was it natural causes???)
*sigh* Where were you guys last night! I hope I get the chance to tell her about this 'conversation' when I see her next month!
Yes, I'd go through the motions (and go with Tim's naughty option if you're feeling naughty), though maybe you could add what complex and conflicting emotions she must be having. Anyway, sorry, this is too late, isn't it?
Anyway, hurrah for good deaths! (Sorry, that's naughty.)
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